adding up my accomplishments and coming up short

______________________________________________Life

On Saturday, rusty and I are moving.

We are moving to the same town he works in. Its called Tama. The city is Fuchu and the prefecture is Tokyo.
Im trying to pack, but it seems like everything I get packed unveils some new stash of forgotten clothing or papers. I bet it really stinks to move out of a house after living there for like 20 years. We've been in this house for a year and a half almost so its not like we have a lot of stuff. But for the past 4 years i have been living out of 2 suitcases and a carry on, so it feels like I have gobs of things to sort.

I also have 6 pages of women's bible study home work to complete before 10am tomorrow morning. and I managed to lose it.
and i didnt to my homework last week either.



______________________________________________Devotional
Seeing as how i finished up the book of acts, i took some time to pray over what book to start. Im going into Ephesians, which is exciting, because it was written roughly when the book of acts ends!!
So, ill be delving into ephesians for a few weeks. I read chapter 1 this morning and right now the thing ive thought on most is that paul desired the ephesians to be blessed with spritual knowledge as its vital to understanding the work of Jesus Christ. That in turn effects how we live our entire lives.

If we understand the gravity of Christs blood and atoning work we will begin to see people the way God sees them. His children. Some are lost and wondering, so we need to love them.

brain suckers

______________________________________________Life

So we had a pretty busy weekend.
I went to a baby shower on saturday and stayed most of the day. Adelle slept thru almost the entire party, which was nice. She was in deep sleep too, so i could hand her off to different people and eat all the wonderful food every one brought.
I love parties where people bring a dish to pass.
Especially when Philippino people are invited :)

You know, I've often thought that if there was some catastrophic invasion of strange creatures or something that i would be one of the people who would survive. I would be one of those smart people who would just barely out wit the monsters and be a member of an underground task force to exterminate the goblins.
I credit this to my years of playing video games and watching B grade monster movies. I figure that ive got the basic tactical issues covered, as long as i could locate some firepower of some kind. Ive noticed the flaw in games and movies. It seems that guns and such are always just laying around, and ive yet to notice an unlimited ammunition machine gun laying around at the park.

Maybe I just live in the wrong neighborhood.

But sometime last winter, while sitting on the train, i realized in all actuality i would be one of those people running around in the background with a brain sucker attached to my head, with arms flailing.

I was at the station two stops before mine. The train was sitting in place with the doors open and we waited for anyone who was going to jump on before we pulled out. I imagined an invasion of bat like pests sweeping over tokyo and realized that i would be a sitting duck.
Yep, i would get eated.

I was kind of sad when i realized that, but i guess its kind of normal to make yourself the main character of the movie.

It would be really hard to imagine myself as a supporting character. I just tried it before i typed that. How boring.
So thats my thought today. Im human. Im selfish. And in life, i just have a walk on appearance.




______________________________________________Devotional
Acts 27&28
Paul goes to Rome.
God had warned Paul that the weather would be against them, and paul told everyone but they didnt listen. They set sail anyways. Lo and behold, they hit bad weather and have to spend 3 months, shipwrecked on a small island off the south cost of Italy.
I thought it was so interesting how paul had been told specifically that no lives would be lost, God would protect them, but the ship would be lost with its cargo. No one wanted to listen to paul when he told them something that inconvenienced them. But as soon as he told them the good news, they where willing to do whatever they had to do to make that come true.

I do this a lot. Im always looking out for myself and trying to just get God to wring out his blessings. I often run away from those harder instructions, or the things that inconvenience me. I would like to say ive grown out of it and how great i am now, but i just cant shake how many topics i can think of right this moment where i am still setting sail (or staying in the harbor) when God has told me differently.

But you know, Rusty has really been exhorting me a lot. Hes been telling me so many times this month "If you never try it, you might never find out if it was the best thing to ever happen. God is just waiting to bless you and you just want to sit there and decide whats best for yourself"

Such good words. Im blessed to have such an amazing husband. I know its the Jesus inside of him.

an introduction and a reason

______________________________________________Life

Good afternoon.

I should have done this to start off, but its too late now.
Im going to introduce myself and give you guys a reason as to why ive started this blog.

My name is Amber Noel Spearman.
Formerly known as Amber Noel Solis.
I am 23 years old and i am married to Russell Spearman. We have been married for 3 years this May.
On december 26th, or 2010 we welcomed our baby girl Adelle into this world. She is 1 month, 3 weeks and 2 days old.

Rusty and I are missionaries in Japan.
3 months after we got married we moved to Okinawa. We spent a beautiful year on island and then moved to mainland japan.
Time really moves fast out here.

As for my reason, its something like this.
part 1.

I read missionary bios and letters and they seem kind of plastic. Some dont, and i guess that can depend on the writing skills of whoever is writing it. But i often wonder if other missionaries have the same problems and victories i experience. Everyone always seems to have it together. I wanted to put my pulse out there. I want to be honest about the life of a missionary. I think i will make mistakes, but i want the chance to fix them too. So here we go.

part 2.
I want to make sure i am soaking in my devos in the morning. I realized that a lot of times i cant remember what i read in the morning by dinner time. So i wanted a place i could sit down and digest and outline what i read. I want to grow and i want to learn.

So in the times when Adelle is sleeping and i can type a few words before the washing machine goes off, i would like to share with you some of my thoughts and thinkings.

And maybe a few pictures too.



______________________________________________Devotional
Today is Acts 26.
Paul is held in chains by the rulers of the time, because the local authorities are scared that if they left paul unbound the jews would murder him. So paul is given the chance to explain himself infront of Festus (what a name), his wife and his court.
Paul started from the beginning, and told them about his life as a pharisee. He spent all his time perfecting his law following and persecution of those who followed Jesus. He actually set death sentences onto Christians he found.
He also shared how he was converted on his way to Demascus. God told him how he would be used to first speak to the jews and then speak to the Gentiles, and he would help turn many unto Christ.
Soon after he finished, Festus actually says "You have almost persuaded me into being a christian."

I took some time to dwell on the power Jesus has. Paul was hellbent on killing and persecuting Christians. He dedicated his whole life to this reason. But one day, one light and just a few words spoken by Jesus was enough to change a man. He completely changed, and became one of the strongest and most credible theologians.

Its crazy!

I also remembered my life verses at that point too. Ill share when with you.

Psalm 40:1-3
" ¹ I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
² He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
³ He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD."

That last big of verse 3 has always puzzled me. As of yet, i havent been present at any conversions and im not a worship leader. Ive always looked at it and said to myself "Well, God has a lot of work to do still" which i think is true, but this morning God pressed upon my heart something totally different.

He said
"Your not the one who will convert people. Who says I haven't already used you, and you have no idea?"

Gah, oh yeah! Its not about making people say the prayer. The psalm even says, God put a song into my mouth, i just have to sing it and people will turn and trust in the Lord. It doesnt say that i have to persuade people, or converse people into surrender. I just have to do what the Lord has put into my life. Thats all im responsible for.

So, to wrap it up.
I was reminded that some plant, some water and some reap.

something ive been putting off

______________________________________________Life


Hey,

So this is something ive been considering doing for awhile, but ive put it off most of the time.

Ive been wanting to have a place to throw down thoughts that have popped into my head, you know those ones that don't go away until you say them.
I also wanted a place to jot down my thoughts on my devos daily, so i want to make sure i throw that down too. Nothing mind blowing, or like "Hey look, i graduated from bible college" worthy, but something to make me sit and think about what i read.




______________________________________________Devotional

This morning i continued reading in Acts.
I was in chapter 25.

The idea that was most prominent in my mind and my heart today was how real the bible is. I didn't really feel a gushing of spiritual knowledge flowing thru this passage today (although im sure its there) but i was impressed at how much the book of Acts reads like a history book. Because thats just what it is. So many people want to discredit the bible, and say its just a big magical sounding story book, but its more than just stories. Its real, actually happened history. I think acts 25 was a good reminder of that. A good reminder to not treat it like a story book.

I also read psalm 17.
I guess ill close my first post with it.

	1	Hear a just cause, O LORD, Attend to my cry; Give ear to my prayer which is not from deceitful lips.
	2	Let my vindication come from Your presence; Let Your eyes look on the things that are upright.
	3	You have tested my heart; You have visited me in the night; You have tried me and have found nothing; I have purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.
	4	Concerning the works of men, By the word of Your lips, I have kept away from the paths of the destroyer.
	5	Uphold my steps in Your paths, That my footsteps may not slip.
	6	I have called upon You, for You will hear me, O God; Incline Your ear to me, and hear my speech.
	7	Show Your marvelous loving-kindness by Your right hand, O You who save those who trust in You From those who rise up against them.
	8	Keep me as the apple of Your eye; Hide me under the shadow of Your wings,
	9	From the wicked who oppress me, From my deadly enemies who surround me.
	10	They have closed up their fat hearts; With their mouths they speak proudly.
	11	They have now surrounded us in our steps; They have set their eyes, crouching down to the earth,
	12	As a lion is eager to tear his prey, And like a young lion lurking in secret places.
	13	Arise, O LORD, Confront him, cast him down; Deliver my life from the wicked with Your sword,
	14	With Your hand from men, O LORD, From men of the world who have their portion in this life, And whose belly You fill with Your hidden treasure. They are satisfied with children, And leave the rest of their possession for their babes.
	15	As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.